Can I go back to my own house after a DV arrest?

Ownership doesn't determine it. If the court has entered a stay-away provision covering the residence, you can't be there — regardless of whose name is on the mortgage, who pays the rent, or whether the other person has anywhere else to go.

This produces immediate, practical problems: where to sleep, how to get clothes and work equipment, medication, documents, and tools.

What to do about it. Don't go to the house. Ask counsel about a civil standby — an arrangement where law enforcement accompanies you for a supervised retrieval of specific items. That's the mechanism, and it should be arranged rather than improvised.

Where the residence situation is genuinely untenable, counsel can ask the court to modify the conditions. Courts do sometimes adjust them, particularly where there are children, shared finances, or no alternative housing. That requires a motion, not an agreement between the two of you.